OMG! OMG! OMG!!! We're having a little baby girl!!!! I am so incredibly filled with JOY!!!
We went in for the amniocentesis today. I was filled with anxiety, and not expecting to find out the baby's gender. Frankly, I had myself convinced over the past couple of weeks that I'd learn it was a BOY (which I would have LOVED LOVED LOVED!), and hearing that it was a baby girl was such a joyful surprise!!!!
The test itself was uncomfortable and scary and not something I'd sign up to do again, it was over after four rounds of:
"breathing in I calm my mind,
breathing out i smile,
dwelling in the present moment,
there is no other moment".
Brian held my hand throughout the whole thing, I kept my eyes closed. Dr. Cohlson (rhymes with Molson, which she did not drink before the procedure!), a maternal fetal medicine specialist, was wonderful and brilliant. She said all measurements on ultrasound looked great "this kid read the book" was actually what she said, meaning she measured just as she was supposed to for her age! (she's so smart!).
In this ultrasound we actually saw the umbilical cord pulsing (amazing!), knees and elbows, again, a big ole brain, and I think she has Brian's eyes! We saw cute little fingers, kicking feet (though I have yet to feel them!), kidneys, and a heart beat of 154 (goodness!). Dr. Sullivan a 3rd year OBGYN resident played around with the ultrasound after the technician did her measurements and BEFORE the amnio was done (aint no way a resident was going to do this amnio on me!!!). But she was cool and calming.
Oh little girl, you are soooo LOVED!!!! I can't wait to meet you! (170 more days or so!)
Monday, September 28, 2009
can't sleep.....
My amniocentesis is in a few hours. I can't sleep. I wish Brian were here now. I'm glad he'll be taking me to this appointment. I'm scared.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
fat or pregnant????
Something popped in the last week, and I felt like I started looking pregnant. I realized that I've spent the last 30 years trying to hide, minimize, and flatten my belly, and hanging out downtown in my new maternity wear, I just let it hang out!
I go back and forth from feeling totally glowy and beautiful, to just bloated and fat! My boobs are ENORMOUS and I'm starting to fear what will become of them over the next few months. Brian doesn't seem to mind any of these changes, bless his heart!
NAMASTE
I was in my 2nd pre-natal yoga class (thanks for that present Nana and Grandpa!) breathing, being....truly in the moment...just what I needed! As I feel like the powerful Amazon MAMA that I am, holding still in warrior two......what do I notice.....A NEW FUZZY PATCH OF DARK HAIR ON MY LOWER ARM! (moment LOST!) It was all I could do to bust out loud to ask the other moms-to-be in the class...."whatsup with that???". Made me laugh at myself (also, just what I needed!).
Thursday, September 24, 2009
for my little apple
i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
crock-o-shit???
Congratulations!
You have a 45% chance of having a boy. And you have a 54% chance of having a girl.
And Here's Why...
You are carrying the extra weight out front, so it's a boy.
The hair on your legs is not growing any faster during your preganacy, so it's a girl.
Girls are carried high. You are going to have a girl.
Sleeping in a bed with your pillow to the north indicates that you will be having a boy.
Your feet are not colder than they were before pregnancy. You are having a girl.
You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread. You are having a girl.
Dad-to-be is gaining weight right along with Mom-to-be, which means that you'll have a boy.
The maternal grandmother has gray hair, so a boy will be born.
You had morning sickness early in pregnancy, so you are expecting a girl.
You are looking particularly good during pregnancy. Therefore, it must be a boy, because girls steal their mother's looks.
Your chest development has been quite dramatic during pregnancy. You should expect a girl.
Since the sum of the mother's age at conception and the number of the month of conception is an odd number, it will be a girl.
Your urine is a bright neon yellow color, so you will have a boy.
You have a craving for salty or sour foods, which means that it is a boy.
Your nose hasn't changed during pregnancy, which indicates a girl.
You have been craving meats or cheeses, so it is a boy.
Your baby's heart rate is 140 or more beats per minute, so it's a girl.
You must have orange juice every day, so it's a girl.
You are having headaches, so it's a boy.
Your belly looks like a watermelon, so it's a girl.
You show them the palm of your hand (when asked to show your hands), so it's a girl.
You use the handle of a mug, so it's a boy.
You have a 45% chance of having a boy. And you have a 54% chance of having a girl.
And Here's Why...
You are carrying the extra weight out front, so it's a boy.
The hair on your legs is not growing any faster during your preganacy, so it's a girl.
Girls are carried high. You are going to have a girl.
Sleeping in a bed with your pillow to the north indicates that you will be having a boy.
Your feet are not colder than they were before pregnancy. You are having a girl.
You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread. You are having a girl.
Dad-to-be is gaining weight right along with Mom-to-be, which means that you'll have a boy.
The maternal grandmother has gray hair, so a boy will be born.
You had morning sickness early in pregnancy, so you are expecting a girl.
You are looking particularly good during pregnancy. Therefore, it must be a boy, because girls steal their mother's looks.
Your chest development has been quite dramatic during pregnancy. You should expect a girl.
Since the sum of the mother's age at conception and the number of the month of conception is an odd number, it will be a girl.
Your urine is a bright neon yellow color, so you will have a boy.
You have a craving for salty or sour foods, which means that it is a boy.
Your nose hasn't changed during pregnancy, which indicates a girl.
You have been craving meats or cheeses, so it is a boy.
Your baby's heart rate is 140 or more beats per minute, so it's a girl.
You must have orange juice every day, so it's a girl.
You are having headaches, so it's a boy.
Your belly looks like a watermelon, so it's a girl.
You show them the palm of your hand (when asked to show your hands), so it's a girl.
You use the handle of a mug, so it's a boy.
Monday, September 21, 2009
vineyard trip with babydaddy
What a lovely time getting to know each other! Brian and I were great travel companions and we had fun, relaxed, reflected, and just felt lucky to be alive and together!!!
We actually got news just before our trip that our odds for Down Syndrome actually INCREASED after that blood work. It was frightening and stressful, and gave us much to think about. Odds are still quite LOW (less than 2%) but when they say 1 in 67 chance, it feels scary. I've decided that I don't want the stress of wondering and worrying for the next 6 months, so I scheduled an amniocentesis. I think Brian could take that or leave it, but as usual, he's supportive of my decision. Day two of our MV trip we were grocery shopping when we saw a mama and her little baby boy in the grocery cart. Baby obviously had down syndrome, and was just as cute and sweet as he could be...but in my state, I burst out in tears in the produce section. I remember Brian holding me as I stared at the lemons (the size of our little baby!). After composing myself, I went to chat with the mama (as I do with most mama's with new babies these days). It was a sweet and simple interaction, as I saw her loading 30+ jars of baby food in the cart, I asked if that was all for him? She started cooing at him saying, "who's a little pork chop??" and he just smiled and giggled and was as adorable as they can be. It helped me calm down tremendously and was a reminder that love comes in all different forms and varieties.
After a beautiful week in MV, we spent the weekend in Boston. We LOVED it and joked that I walked more in 36 hours in Boston that I did my entire first trimester combined!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Baby's first Vineyard trip
Baby-mama, Baby-daddy, and little lemon-sized baby are off to Martha's Vineyard. There we'll have MUCH to celebrate! Mama's 38th birthday (they call me the "AMA"-mama. ...advanced maternal age) is on the 15th. We've rented some kayaks and plan to cruise the sound as the sun sets to ring in the new year. Speaking of New Years, we'll also celebrate Rosh Hashana (ohhhh, baby's first Rosh Hashana!!!), the Jewish New Year, and my favorite Jewish Holiday.... a time for reflection and gratitude. My birthday marks the official beginning of the SECOND TRIMESTER! A big sigh of relief from me! Everyone says 2nd trimester is the "golden age" of pregnancy....feeling better physically, and not yet feeling like a beached whale, though I'll admit my belly is starting to poke out of my shirt!!! We'll also celebrate the news from my latest blood test, which combined with this weeks Nuchal Test, will tell us how wonderful and healthy our little lemon is!
Let me take a moment to post what INCREDIBLY SUPPORTIVE, LOVING, POSITIVE, and GENEROUS family I have. This is one little lucky baby!!!!
Let me take a moment to post what INCREDIBLY SUPPORTIVE, LOVING, POSITIVE, and GENEROUS family I have. This is one little lucky baby!!!!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Brian's Bday
We had a GREAT nuchal translucency screening, showing only 1mm of fluid behind baby's neck... NOT indicitive of genetic disorders. I left feeling releived and more excited than ever. We got a glimse of a little 4D image of baby Acker....oh what a sweetie! It was amazing to have my mama present for this visit, and to have Brian's hand on my leg throughout the exam reminded me how fortunate I am.
Monday, September 7, 2009
nuchal translucency screening
http://www.babycenter.com/0_nuchal-translucency-screening_118.bc
nervous and excited about tomorrow's ultrasound. so glad my honey and my mama will be with me....
i will try to capture that dancing kid on video!!!
i can't think of a better birthday present for baby-daddy than to hear that the probability for risk of genetic disorders is substantially decreased!!!
praying hard tonight, and thinking positively!!!
nervous and excited about tomorrow's ultrasound. so glad my honey and my mama will be with me....
i will try to capture that dancing kid on video!!!
i can't think of a better birthday present for baby-daddy than to hear that the probability for risk of genetic disorders is substantially decreased!!!
praying hard tonight, and thinking positively!!!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
AN AMAZING ULTRASOUND 9-3-09
Went for part two of my physical today. This time I met with Dolly, another one of the four nurse mid-wives at MAHEC. She was just as wonderful as Ann. I've been coughing up a lung and cramping a bit, and once I got into the appointment, for whatever reason I became teary and moody (?). I told Dolly that I wanted to see a heartbeat again, and though I wasn't supposed to get an ultrasound today, she "snuck me in" to the ultrasound room and obliged.
It was unbelievable! This little kid was moving, and waving, kicking....I could have sat there for an hour and watched this little Lime-sized baby dance!
In the picture below, her head is at the bottom, little white dot half way up on the right is her hand, and then you can see her meaty little bottom/hip/and foot towards the top! I actually saw her FLIP from side view to HEAD ON, where I then saw TWO HAND and TWO FEET! (that's good!). I was able to easily see her spine, a little white line going from brain to bottom, and actually, saw her big brain too! I hope she gets her papa's ability to retain totally useless information so someday she can win big at trivia night!
Anyway, it was a beautiful sight! AND I was right, she's hanging out in the lower left corner of my abdomen. While I can't feel obvious kicks and movements, I do feel like there's a little lime baby hanging out there.
It was unbelievable! This little kid was moving, and waving, kicking....I could have sat there for an hour and watched this little Lime-sized baby dance!
In the picture below, her head is at the bottom, little white dot half way up on the right is her hand, and then you can see her meaty little bottom/hip/and foot towards the top! I actually saw her FLIP from side view to HEAD ON, where I then saw TWO HAND and TWO FEET! (that's good!). I was able to easily see her spine, a little white line going from brain to bottom, and actually, saw her big brain too! I hope she gets her papa's ability to retain totally useless information so someday she can win big at trivia night!
Anyway, it was a beautiful sight! AND I was right, she's hanging out in the lower left corner of my abdomen. While I can't feel obvious kicks and movements, I do feel like there's a little lime baby hanging out there.
I'm getting hooked WAY up with some baby clothes! Susan's best friend works with "MOTHERHOOD MATERNITY" clothing and is able to score me some cheap stretchy pants, and then some! I'm thinking that I'm just going to grow a sweet little basketball in front, and stay exactly the same everywhere else....like my buddy, Kim. Right??? I told my mom and stepmom this plan, and they both seem to think that I'm crazy. I did buy some cute little maternity overalls (not terribly flattering, but oh so cute!). Mom said NO WAY would they fit me for the whole pregnancy. Nooooo!!!! Fortunately for everyone, I'm starting to feel a bit more energetic and I see more consistent workouts in my near future, once this crazy head cold/cough clears up!!! I'd like to swim, yoga, zumba....and get out with lil kumquat (who, by the way is no longer a Kumquat, but a LIME) and breathe the air in the woods!!!
BTW, I parked here today! AND i stuck out my gut as far as it would go and waddled into the store! LOL! Making myself laugh!
Amy came to visit and showered me with Baby's Breath, Baby Ruth, Baby Pickles, and more..... very sweet (and I had forgotten how yummy Baby Ruth was!) We talked about her recent experience with granddaughter Olivia (almost a year!) and how amazing the experience has been for her. I can't wait to have my parents be my baby's grandparents!!! What a lucky kid!
daddy ROCKS!
Brian has been a trooper! We've been watching scientific movies about fetal development together (thanks Grandpa!!!) and he's been supportive and helpful, thoughtful and loving! Thanks, Bubbah!
WEEK 12
How your baby's growing:The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.
rounding the corner on the first trimester. ohhh, it's been a doozy. I've been EXHAUSTED, though I'm sure a screwy thyroid hasn't helped matters along. Fortunately I'm starting to feel less nauseous, though I've learned the hard lesson that I really need to keep some snacks on hand....just crackers or something.
I shared the wonderful news to a huge support of loving friends last week. Brian was by my side, and while i wasn't aware of my word choice, I announced that "Brian and I were going to have a baby", and that was meaningful for him.
Slowly, I've been letting the world in on this joyous secret. Everyone is so excited (but not as excited as me!). Despite feeling miserable physically and wrecked emotionally, I have never been happier about anything in my life! I am in awe as to what's going on in there! I've been calling her a "she" but know that should I find out otherwise, I'll be thrilled.
rounding the corner on the first trimester. ohhh, it's been a doozy. I've been EXHAUSTED, though I'm sure a screwy thyroid hasn't helped matters along. Fortunately I'm starting to feel less nauseous, though I've learned the hard lesson that I really need to keep some snacks on hand....just crackers or something.
I shared the wonderful news to a huge support of loving friends last week. Brian was by my side, and while i wasn't aware of my word choice, I announced that "Brian and I were going to have a baby", and that was meaningful for him.
Slowly, I've been letting the world in on this joyous secret. Everyone is so excited (but not as excited as me!). Despite feeling miserable physically and wrecked emotionally, I have never been happier about anything in my life! I am in awe as to what's going on in there! I've been calling her a "she" but know that should I find out otherwise, I'll be thrilled.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
FIRST ULTRASOUND!!!
August 17, 2009
Here's a picture of lil peanut Acker!!! Brian, Ann (my nurse mid-wife) and I all shrieked in unison....LOOK AT THE LITTLE HAND, as peanut looked at the camera and waved ('hi mama!'). Very strong heartbeat, and all is well!!!
MAMA NEEDS SOME CALAMARI
August 15, 2009
Had an awful craving for some Carabbas calamari. Brian and I went and I had my calamari fill. At the end of the meal the waitress brought out a tray of SIX mini desserts, all looked FABULOUS! I was too full for dessert, but jokingly asked if she'd cut me a deal if I took all six off her hands. She chuckled and said, "actually, some pregnant woman did that once!". Brian and I lost it. I suspect sometime in the coming 7 months, mama's gonna need SIX mini desserts!
First maternity outfit
August 15, 2009Went to the gym...though had a crapola work out. Left after 20 minutes to meet clients, but my 'street clothes' DIDN'T ZIP!!! D'oh! Had a bit of extra time and had to return a shirt to Kohls (that puppy Rudy bit a hole in!). I bought my first maternity outfit. I felt WAY too cute for words and proceed to call my parents to tell them how adorable I was, and texted Brian, "your GF is WAY too cute!" Feeling sassy all day, when Brian came over late in the day, I was eager to show him my fun stretchy pants, but when he saw the skin colored stretchy stuff pulled all the way to my bra line, he GASPED outloud and said, "WHAT IS THAT!!??!!". Suddenly I didn't feel so cute after all!
The day YO MAMAS BIG FAT BOOTY BAND got blown off!
JULY 25th, 2009
Bele Chere in AVL
I was planning on seeing Yo mama's big fat booty band at Bele Chere, but thought, "hey! why not take that pee test in the office before I head downtown. THREE positive tests later, I decided to skip the crowds downtown, and took myself to Zen Sushi (where I avoided the raw tuna for the first time) and journaled about this crazy adventure I'm about to begin.
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